Why Communication Is Essential In BDSM

Honorifics

Is the term for the names you call your Dominant, or in some cases submissives. It is meant to imply you are honoring them through its use as a power dynamic, but also loosely it means “the name you call your partner” meaning it implies to submissives as well. The types of honorifics will vary from the kinks you partake in, usually, it’s decided by the Dominant who has their own preference based on what kinks they enjoy. Honorifics can be kink-specific like master or daddy, but they can be ambiguous like sir. Whereas submissives can be called baby or darling for example.

Know Yourself

One challenge if you are BDSM is finding your voice and what you want from it. Think deeply about what you want and do not want, this will help you find the people who mesh with, you and the people who don’t.

Setting Dynamic Goals

As a dynamic evolves you should establish answers to some of these important questions. Communicating your goals and expectations before things get going is the best way to avoid systemic issues further down the road.

• Is this casual or are we dating with long-term goals?
• Are we exclusive?
• Are we online only or IRL. Doing photos, video, voice, in person? What kind of dynamic are you looking for? Explain/know what you want out of your dynamic with your partner. Do not fall prey to an ambiguous dynamic where you do not know what “we are”. There are many colors to BDSM. Asking your partner the questions above can help you a lot in setting expectations early to build an amazing dynamic.