BDSM Roles Explained

What are BDSM roles?

In BDSM, there are three primary roles:

• Submissives (Sub or Subby)
• Dominants (Dom (Male/Female), Domme (Female))
• Switches (Switch)

Roles describe a person’s interest and position in BDSM. A Dom enjoys the feeling of power over a Sub, while a Sub would enjoy the sense of the Dom’s control over them. Switches enjoy both sides of BDSM by “switching” between a Dom or a Sub mindset. Switches may switch more than one time in a day and fight for power, other times they may limit their mindset to a specific headspace like submissive. Some switches may limit their role altogether and be either dominant or submissive if their partner is not a switch. In dynamics like this, it is healthy to consider having a conversation if they accept your boundaries and not to dom/sub them given your role. Communication is important.

Tip: You may hear the term “Vanilla”. This is used to describe people who are not involved/slightly involved in BDSM and are “Vanilla” in their sexual / kink interest. This means they are not kinky, or not involved in the BDSM community.

Do I need to know if I am a Dom, Sub, or Switch?

Yes! Roles are pivotal to having a good experience in BDSM. Roles determine what kind of individuals will be more inclined to interact with you. Knowing your role can also help with gaining a better understanding of yourself and what you like. It will give your partner a better understanding of your preferences and boundaries. Remember that you know yourself better than anyone else!

If you’re uncertain of your role, you can use the BDSM test at the bottom of this site once you get done reading this guide. There is no right or wrong role and your role may even change in time as you become more exposed to various kinks, or even charge partner to partner if they hit all the right spots. If you are a switch it may even change on the day.